#1 Reason For Relationship Failure

One of our most significant daily responsibilities to our loved ones whom we live with and love dearly is – attention. Attention in the form of conversation, companionship, play time, affection, and intimacy. We must realize that human beings and even pets that we own are sentient beings. They can perceive feelings and have emotions. We may encounter a situation in life that makes us work longer hours and hold many jobs in order to make ends meet. We may think that by working harder to earn the necessary money we need to pay our bills and debts and saving the rest for something we can do in the future for the enjoyment of both of us is the right thing to do now.It may be the right thing to do for our future goals but we also cannot over look the importance of living in the present moment.

Working overtime and working all the time would leave no time for us to really spend quality time with our significant others and to allow our relationships to continue to grow and blossom. Planning for the future and working toward our future goals are very important; however, nothing in the future is concrete and guaranteed. While we diligently are planning for the future for both of us, we also need to take care of the present as well since the present is what is real and predictable.If we depend greatly on striving to fulfill the dreams we want to have in the future and neglect what is really happening in the present, we may run the risk of jeopardizing our current relationship and then we may not have the ideal future we have been dreaming of. This is because our relationship may not last that long to allow us to fulfill our future dreams together. Why would our relationship not last long? The answer to this question is again -- lack of attention.

When couples are not spending enough time together, their eyes start to wander for others’ attentions. Their minds start to find ways to get their emotional needs met. Their bodies start to hunger for sexual/intimate satisfaction. And their emotions start yearning for passion and affection in their lives. Most marriages and relationships fail because one partner is crying out for attention and companionship but the other partner just does not care and often ignores the seriousness or severity of the situation which leaves the waiting partner no choice but to find others for his/her emotional and physical needs.In this case, the affair is not solely the wrongdoing of the engaged partner but also the indifferent partner as well, who chooses not to carry out his/her duty as a significant other and neglects his/her partner’s needs in the relationship. The indifferent partner actually pushes and forces the waiting partner to seek others for help which results in an affair. Even though an affair is not to be condoned or contemplated, the failure of one partner to fulfill his/her duty toward the other also is not to be condoned or contemplated, a fact society often overlooks.

The ultimate goal for setting aside quality time in spending with our significant others is to allow us to really enjoy each other’s company, understand each other’s needs, ignite the romantic chemistry within each other and to really love being in each other’s presence by observing the details of each other’s every move, smile, gesture, expression, and demeanor.Any couple who is serious about each other and wants to get to know each other better in a dating relationship should spend 7-14 quality hours per week with each other – in person and over the phone, 15-24 quality hours in a committed relationship, 25-35 quality hours during engagement period or marriage. Pay a special attention to each others’ eyes that seem to glow with a spark when we look into each other and tell each other how very much we do care and love one another.
(5:5-3)

Excerpt from: The Naked Truth About Relationships and True Leaders Part II, Family Guide.

Copy Right 2007, ISBN: 1-4208-6971-X(sc), Library of Congress Control Number: 2005906194
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